Atomic Betty Porn Story: Villains Need Love Too Chapter 1

Atomic Betty Porn Story: Villains Need Love Too Chapter 1

Summary: The events that came before the disastrous date with Zulia. This is Maximu’s side of the story. Oneshot

“Minimus! Where’s my breakfast?” Maximus yelled from the table.

Minimus came running in with his food. “Here it is your evilness”

“What took you so long?” Maximus yelled as he stabbed a fork into the food as if he wanted to kill it even if it wasn’t alive.

“I had to wait for Chef Bernadette to cook it” Minimus said as a matter of fact. “You said you wanted the eggs to be well done and that takes time to finish cooking”

“Thaf nosh emcush!” Maximus continued his complaining with his mouth full. He had woken up in a bad mood today.

Minimus interpreted that he meant to say ‘That’s no excuse’. Well he couldn’t think of a better one, it was either wait for the food to be cooked or at it raw.

“Minimus! I want more juice!” Maximus yelled almost throwing the empty glass at his sidekick who fortunately caught it or else he would most likely get blamed for breaking the glass.

“What kind of juice do you want your evilness?” Minimus asked as to avoid a hit to the head if he brought the wrong kind. He could just get the same kind he was drinking before but when Maximus was in a bad mood he was totally unpredictable and could have changed his mind and decided he wanted different kind of juice.

“Idiot!” The hit he wanted to avoid came anyway. “What kind of a sidekick are you? You’re supposed to know by now what kind of juice I like to drink with this particular kind of breakfast! Now go get my juice!”

Minimus ran to the kitchen before Maximus decided to hit him again. “Do you know what kind of juice the boss likes with that particular kind of breakfast?” Minimus asked Chef Bernadette once he was in the kitchen.

Chef Bernadette was currently experiencing a bad headache. “I pity the woman who ends up with him then again on one will if he keeps up that temper” Bernadette muttered with the hands on the sides of the head trying to calm the headache. “I heard him yelling from here a culinary artist like me cannot take all this noise and no, I don’t know what kind of juice he likes with that particular kind of breakfast he always drinks a different kind”

“What am I a mind reader?” Minimus’s angry face complained.

“Minimus! My juice!” Maximus’s voice echoed all over the lair making Chef Bernadette’s head ache grow worse.

“I’m coming, your evilness!” Minimus said.

Chef Bernadette filed the glass with some juice taking a guess about what Maximus would want to drink, maybe he wanted more of the same kind since he finished the glass he must have liked it. Shortly after Minimus came back with the glass on his head and the juice all over himself. Needless to say that wasn’t the kind Maximus wanted. “I can’t take this anymore!” Chef Bernadette said. “Either he controls his temper or I quit!”

Minimus gulped. “No don’t quit!” If Chef Bernadette quit then surely Minimus would get blamed, he always got blamed for everything. “Maybe he’s in a bad mood today but it’ll pass!” Minimus said. “In a few thousand years” His angry face added.

Chef Bernadette sighted giving up. “What he needs is a girlfriend”

Minimus blinked wondering how the chef came to that conclusion. “A girlfriend?”

“Yes, then he could go on a date when he’s in a bad mood then come back in a better mood. She could come to visit and keep him busy that means he’ll have less time to yell. She could baby him like the spoiled bratty immature kitten he is and maybe, just maybe with a little luck manage to teach him to be a little nicer” The chef said.

Minimus thought about it. Bernadette did have a point. “But what woman in her right mind would put up with him?” His angry face asked.

“I don’t know” The chef concluded sadly. How ever suddenly Bernadette smiled. “I have an idea, why don’t you get him to join one of those online dating services. One of them is being advertised on my cooking web site. I don’t usually let such sites that are not related to cooking place ads on my web site but the manager asked so nicely and offered a good price. Surely that place could find a match for him if such a person exists”

“I’ll go tell him!” Minimus said happily as he ran off to find Maximus who had already finished his breakfast and forgotten all about the juice. He found him in his office attempting to draw a super powerful weapon design but he only doodled little cartoons. “Your evilness”

“What do you want?” Maximus yelled looking up from his drawing. There was doodle of an Atomic Betty cartoon with a large rock about to fall on her head from atop a cliff where a little Maximus doodle cartoon stood.

“I was thinking” Minimus started.

“That’ll be a first” Maximus said sarcastically.

Minimus’s angry face muttered something inaudible and his normal face continued. “I was thinking that I think I know what you need”

Maximus looked at his cartoon doodle. The trap was too primitive for a super villain like him. He didn’t actually expect Minimus to come up with a better idea but he asked anyone. “What do out think I need?”

“A date” Minimus said.

Maximus just stared at his sidekick as if he grew yet another face. “What?”

“A date, that’s what you need. To go on a date” Minimus said.

“Oh, that’s a very tempting strategy” Maximus said sarcastically. “To go on a date then catch her off guard there’s only one problem with that plan. I wouldn’t be caught dead on a date with a Galactic Guardian or anyone remotely related to one!” Maximus yelled.

Minimus noticed they weren’t really talking about the same topic. “I don’t mean to destroy Atomic Betty. Maybe you spend too much time thinking about how to destroy Atomic Betty, maybe you should forget about her for a while and go on an actual date” Minimus said quickly covering his head waiting for Maximus to hit him and say super villains have no time for such things but instead there was nothing but silence.

“A date” Maximus repeated thoughtfully. “But I know nothing about girls” He concluded.

“It can’t be that hard” Minimus said a little surprised by his reaction.

“You’re right for once, it can’t be that hard… Minimus! You shall find a date for me and she better be someone worthy of a super villain like me” Maximus said.

“I’ll find her!” Minimus said and was about to leave before Maximus changed his mind but he stopped him.

“Wait, you will also find some sort of dating manual with instructions and the such” Maximus added. Were women truly such a mystery to him that he thought he needed a manual to understand them? Then again the women he knew, he knew them professionally only, as professional fellow villains or professional enemies in Atomic Betty’s case.

“Ok you evilness, I’ll bring you a manual too” Minimus said. There had to be such a thing somewhere online. With no time to waste he headed off to a computer to visit the dating service web site Chef Bernadette suggested and filled out a form for Maximus. With a quick search he actually managed to find several manuals and printed the ones he thought were the best. He then browsed around the member profiles and choose a date. He got her address by email and told Maximus he had to go pick her up at her house the next day.

With the help of the dating instruction manuals the locations to be visited were chosen and everything was arranged. From there on Maximus spend the rest of the day memorizing lines from the ‘One hundred and one things to say on a date’ manual Minimus had printed out. You know already know the rest of the story.

The End

Notes: I thought Maximus was OOC during that date and this is one of my theories, he had the entire date memorized as the manual said it should be. My other fanfic ‘Zulia’s Prologue’ tells Zulia’s side of the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Atomic Betty.

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